I'm Not Quite Ready

Fast forward a year later from the “I’m Ready” blog. Actually a year and a week, since I’ve already completed my first week of school with students and I’m feeling pretty confident and successful. This year I decided that it would be best for me to get to know the kids on the first day and week of school while they also get to know me. Last year I completely bypassed any icebreakers and jumped right into the lessons after going over my class syllabus. I only had one kid of the 105 students I had, object and ask if we were going to do an icebreaker and since I hadn’t planned it, we didn’t do it. I never even considered getting to know the kids. It wasn’t until a few weeks into the school year that I realized how important it is to get to know the kids. So this year my first day plan varied tremendously from last. I planned three different icebreakers after going over my syllabus and classroom expectations followed by our first lesson (our class period is an hour and 45 minutes long). It was important to me that my students understand that this year’s classroom environment will be a fun place to learn where they would have high expectations but also hopefully enjoy their lessons. I also wanted them to have some say in how they complete their lessons, by voting for various activities to get them through it. I have this reputation that proceeds me as mean and strict, then when students finally get to know me, they realize I’m actually really nice and have a tendency to mother them as well as teach them. It’s probably my “resting bitch face” that makes me appear mean and I do admit I have a no nonsense approach to the work I expect to get done.

I have to say that this first week appeared to be successful. But it is only the first week and students seem ready, willing and excited to work that first week of school. We’ll see how it goes from here on out. But judging by the student interactions and the first assignments I had them complete, it seemed as if everyone is learning and enjoying while doing so. Now to maintain that energy is going to be the challenge for me.

I do feel bad that on my second week of school, tomorrow I will be late for my first period class. I pre-warned my students and set the expectation that they will still have assignments to do while I am out. Now of course I wouldn’t be late unless it was important, which it is highly important to me and my youngest son.

Captain Awesome's first day of kindergarten 2017.

Tomorrow I will officially have two kids in elementary school. That’s right folks, my kids’ first day of school is tomorrow and this year I have a kindergartner and a second grader. Now we are incredibly blessed to have the bus pick up and drop off at our front door everyday, but since it is the first day for my kindergartner, I’ve decided to take them both to school, which is why I’ll be late to my first period class. On the first day of kindergarten, parents are allowed to sit with their children while they eat breakfast (this school provides breakfast and lunch everyday for free). Then we can walk them to their class, take pictures, and give them last hugs and kisses wishing them well for their first day. It was imperative that I do just that for my five year old. 

Two years ago I was able to drop off my now second grader when he started kindergarten with my youngest son in tow. I remember feeling nervous and excited for Captain Awesome when he first started kindergarten. He appeared to be confident and ready. He always has this air of confidence and rarely appears to be afraid of new situations or people. On that first day of kindergarten two years ago, the only one crying was Lieutenant Amazing because he didn’t get to eat breakfast with his older brother, since we were only able to watch him eat. 

Big Brother makes everything better.

This year it’s Lieutenant Amazing’s turn for kindergarten and he’s so different from Captain Awesome. He has been asked by his new teacher, his grandparents, the school office administration, and us if he is ready for school on Monday and his response has been consistently the same, “no. I’m afraid.” To help prepare him for school, we went to the “Meet The Teacher” on Friday where Lieutenant Amazing found his name on both his cubby and his desk with the help of his older brother. We saw his classmates and their parents, then we walked to the pool where he will be taking swimming lessons. Then we rode the bus to experience the bus ride. I think all in all it was helpful for Lieutenant Amazing so at least he has an idea of what to expect tomorrow. But even after all of that, he still told me he was afraid, which breaks my heart.
I know deep down he will be fine and will adjust accordingly. I know that he will make friends and that ultimately he will grow to enjoy school and learning. I also know his big 

Lieutenant Amazing's first day of preschool 2017.

brother will be there for him. It just pains me that my five year old is afraid. As a mother, I want to make everything better for him. I want to protect him and support him. I don’t want him to be afraid or feel pain. It is in my nature as a mother, to do everything in my power to make sure my children are healthy and happy. Since I cannot in this instance, remove his fear of the first day of school, I can at least be there in the morning walking him to the playground, then the cafeteria, sitting with him amongst his class full of strangers until finally I walk him to his classroom, supporting him the entire way.

While I am ready to get back into the swing of school and work. I’m not quite ready to let them go. I am officially no longer a mom of small children. We just donated our old carseats and have moved onto boosters and now tomorrow I’ll have a second grader and a kindergartner. What happened to my newborn and two year old? It’s crazy how fast they grow.