Taunting, Crying and Lying

Captain Awesome burst into the multipurpose room crying. I quickly got up from my seat and ran to him escorting him outside of the room so his crying would not disturb the rest of the families prayers. While he cried inconsolably in the lobby of the recreation center outside of the closed doors to the multipurpose room, I knelt down on one knee facing him trying to get him to take some deep breaths so he could at least tell me what was wrong. 

That was when his grandma, just as concerned as myself came out of the multipurpose room to find out what was wrong with my oldest child, her oldest grandson. I had no idea what was wrong with him. I didn’t know if he had been hurt or if someone else had been hurt. I couldn’t tell, he was crying hysterically unable to speak to me.

Here we were at a family reunion, celebrating my mother-in-law’s grandparents and their children including her mother, along with their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. It was a big family reunion held at a community center in West Phoenix. There was a large multipurpose room where all of the families of the original siblings came together to become acquainted or reacquainted with each other while also enjoying a meal together. The great thing about it being at the community center was there was a recreation area for all of the kids to go play pool, fuze-ball and pingpong together. 

My husband and I had left our kids with their older cousins in the recreation room and told them to play nice with each other and stay together. Which worked out great for the first few hours that we were there. It wasn’t until towards the end of the program after everyone had finished eating when the reunion had various family members standing up and speaking on behalf of those family members who were unable to make it either due to illness or inability to travel. One of the speakers had asked that the entire family take a moment to pray for those family members that were ill. 

That’s of course the moment when my son had burst into the room crying and how we ended up in the lobby of the recreation center, me trying to calm him down. After a few more minutes of him crying, and me practicing deep breathing hoping he would follow suit, finally he was able to settle himself down enough to tell me and his grandma that he had lost at pingpong and the boy he played against had been calling him names. 

With that news Grandma stalked off down the hall towards the recreation room to find out what had happened. While I stayed with my son trying to figure out why he was so upset, but he just kept on crying uncontrollably. It was so bad that his grandma’s cousin came over and tried to console him. Eventually, more out of frustration and curiosity as to what had happened, I followed Grandma into the recreation room. She had found out from my oldest niece that Captain Awesome started crying because he lost at pingpong. 

“He lost? Well, did the kid he lost to call him names?”

“No, he just got upset, started crying and ran off once he lost.”

“What?”

I couldn’t believe that my son was crying like he was because he lost at pingpong. He was crying like somebody had physically hurt him or somebody he was close to. I didn’t know what to do. Here I was all worked up because of how upset my son was. It made me question my niece, “are you sure nothing else happened?” And she confirmed that nothing else had happened.

By the time I got back to Captain Awesome he had calmed down enough for me to ask him some questions. One of which was, “are you sure that boy called you names?”

This got him crying again. “He kept saying, ‘point’, every time I hit the ball.”

“What do you mean? Like it was your point or his point?”

“He kept saying, ‘point’, every time I hit the ball. Like it was his point.”

“Did you understand how the game was played? Did he call you names? Or were you just frustrated that he kept saying, ‘point,’ every time you hit the ball?”

“He made me so angry.”

“Well that may be, but did he call you names?”

“No.”

“Why did you say he called you names, when he didn’t?”

“He made me so angry.”

“I understand you were frustrated about losing and he may have been taunting you, but you can’t say somebody did something they didn’t just because you were angry. That’s lying. Lying is never okay.”

I did all I could think of doing at the time. I made Captain Awesome come and sit with us in the multipurpose room with all of the other adults, which is exactly what he didn’t want to do. It was a time out of sorts. I told him if he wanted to play with the big kids he had to act like a big kid and not cry over losing a game, no matter how frustrated he got with his opponent and I told him it was never okay to lie. I made him sit at our table until he calmed down completely. 

He kept asking me if he could go back and play. It wasn’t until his eyes were clear of tears and he seemed like he had gained his strength and confidence back, that I considered letting him go play. About a half hour later, I finally gave him the okay to go back and play. Before letting him go, I reminded him that if he wants to play with the big kids, he has to act like a big kid and it is never okay to lie. I also told him, it wouldn’t hurt to remind the bigger kids that he is only six years old, since he certainly doesn’t look or talk like a six year old. Most people would probably assume he is at least eight, judging by his size and verbal ability.

Now I’m not sure if I did the right thing, but I do know there is no crying in ping pong and I certainly will not tolerate lying.