Practicing Self-Care

For the first time in a long time, probably many years, I am finally learning to practice the art of self-care. I’ve always heard people say, “you can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first.” I know this to be true, yet it has been so hard for me to really hear it and take it to heart. I have been running myself ragged trying to take care of everyone but me. From the moment I hop out of bed to the moment I finally fall asleep my whole world revolves around taking care of someone or something, always somehow neglecting myself.

Recently it has become apparent that this method is no longer working for me. I see it in my family; my kids are showing signs of anxiety, my husband is stressed (though still appears calm and collected on the outside), my puppy is crazy and I am the whirlwind in the middle causing all of the chaos. In my attempt to find some sense of balance and sanity I finally decided to seek outside help. I’ve been reading self-help books and talking to professionals not only about myself but also about my family dynamics. It has been recommended to me that I take care of myself first and also take a few minutes each day to reconnect emotionally with my children initiated through play.

What a difference a few days makes. We have been playing with the children everyday for a little over a week. We take just a few minutes at a time to play, whatever they want to play and their worlds have changed entirely. We are sure to be completely engaged with them during playtime (no phones, no distractions, no to do lists). It’s amazing the transition that is happening in this home. I can feel the stress and anxiety levels leaving our family. There’s less fighting between the boys, a lot less whining and crying and much more cooperation. 

The latest thing I’ve implemented over the last couple of days is my own self-care. One day after work last week, I felt myself grow really angry with my husband because while I was finishing cooking dinner, he sat at the dining room table and started reading. I was annoyed that he had that free moment to read and I didn’t. I was irritated that from the moment I woke up that morning 12 hours prior to that point in the day, I had taken care of everyone else but myself. That particular day, I hadn’t even practiced my morning yoga.

Unfortunately, instead of taking a deep breath and asking my husband to do something that may have needed to get done and could have helped me out, I lashed out at him. Then of course I felt immediate remorse. It wasn’t his fault that I had an impossible to do list and he had a moment of free time. It was later that night that I realized the importance of taking care of myself and allowing myself the free time to do things that I need so that I can be at my best for both my husband, my children and myself.

Not that I’ve been practicing self-care for all that long, I think I’m at day three, but I do feel amazing. I started walking the dogs again. I forgot how much better it makes me feel to walk. It’s like my own way of meditating. I’m able to walk through my thoughts and emotions, leaving all the stress behind me. Walking, yoga and writing are the best self-care I’ve ever done for me. When I stop doing one or all of those things, is when my life begins to feel out of control. Now my mission is to make these three things a part of me, so that I never stop doing any one of them. Practicing this self-care will help me to handle any and everything.