Father's Day 2019

“What do you want to do for Father’s Day?”

“I want to finish this irrigation system.”

“But what do you want to do on Father’s Day?”

“I want to finish the wiring of the sprinkler and drip system.”

For the last few days I’ve been asking my husband what it is he wanted to do for Father’s Day. I was trying to figure out what to buy him for a Father’s Day gift and to see if there was anything in particular he wanted to do or wanted not to do on his special day. He kept telling me the same thing every time I asked, I don’t know why I expected a different answer when I kept asking the same question. (Note to self, if somebody tells you what they want, that’s what they want. If you ask again, it’s not going to change their answer, no matter how many different ways and times you ask the same question.) 

Once I figured out that he truly just wanted to finish the irrigation system, I was at a loss of what to do for him. I went shopping for him a few times, twice with the kids and once by myself. I didn’t find anything in particular that I wanted to buy for him. I couldn’t justify buying something just to buy it for a gift. I’ve done that a couple times lately and haven’t felt very good about the purchase after the fact. I mean there were a couple of gifts I would have liked to have purchased for him, but they seemed extravagant and pricey. Knowing my husband, he would rather I save our money than buy unnecessary lavish gifts. Besides Father’s Day isn’t about the gifts is it? 

So what did we do? We spent the day working on the house. He finished routing the drip system in the front yard. Then helped me plant the agapanthus I had received for Mother’s Day in the planter under our kitchen window. While I made a couple trips to Home Depot, Leslie’s Pool Supply, Safeway and Fry’s, he worked on the wiring for the sprinkler and drip system, along with rerouting the drip system in backyard. 

As far as he told me, he did exactly what it was, he wanted to today. Although he was unable to finish the wiring, because he had to stop working on it so we could all go to his grandfather’s house for a family gathering. For the most part he did what he wanted to. Then, why do I feel like I didn’t do enough for his Father’s Day?

Maybe it’s because of all he does for us. I feel like I am forever in debt of him. He does everything he can to make me happy. It is only fair that I return that same effort. He is a wonderful and fun loving father and husband. While I don’t always agree with his discipline philosophy, I see his consistency is everything. The kids and dogs know exactly what to expect from him and when. They also listen to him the first time, the majority of the time, something I am always struggling with.

It’s not just his consistency I admire. It’s his patience too. He is incredibly patient with me and the kids. I can be a real pain in the butt, by either changing my mind or not being able to make up my mind. My husband patiently waits me out until he knows for sure that I am comfortable with whatever decision I may be in the process of deciding. His patience with the kids is just as wonderful. He puts my impatience to shame.

It is also his coaching and teaching that makes him such a wonderful father as well. Instead of telling the kids what or how to do things, my husband shows and explains to our children how, teaching them and guiding them allowing them to learn and grow from their own mistakes.

I guess it’s not the end of the world that we really didn’t purchase anything for my husband on Father’s Day. Our oldest son drew him a picture featuring “Super Dad” on one side flying through the air to save the day and tools on the other side, because according to Home Depot, that’s “what dad’s really want for Father’s Day.” He also gave him a cookie, because who doesn’t love cookies? Together the boys are in the middle of writing an illustrated story for their dad and when finished it will be a second Father’ Day gift. At the last minute I did remember that we had found some fun socks for him on one of our shopping trips. These socks say, “Grill Master” and show a BBQ with meat grilling on them. And that concludes the extent of my husband’s Father’s Day. While it wasn’t the greatest most memorable Father’s Day ever, it also wasn’t that bad. After all we got to spend it together and we are all healthy and happy. That’s all we really could ask for.